A note on Self-Delusion:

    Do not lie to yourself. If you rode for four hours and fifteen minutes, then this is a four-hour ride, NOT a four and a half hour a ride. If you averaged 413 watts up a climb, then this is 400 watts, NOT 415. Always round down. Placing 5th in a race does not mean you almost won, it means you placed 5th. Keep it to yourself the lamentations of getting boxed in. No one cares. There are 6billion people in this world that do not care about bike racing. This is about you and your progression, it is about proving yourself to yourself.

    All too often we fall prey to our delusional perceptions of self. We try to make ourselves feel bigger than we are to evade the nagging doubts of reality. We pretend. Yes, we pretend. But the fact remains: YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE.

    I catch myself pretending to be a world-class cyclist. Reality: as of now I’ve gone to one World Cup where my team performed poorly. Does admitting to reality mean I’m bringing down my morale and tarnishing my goal of the Olympics? Hardly. The better I get at cycling the more I am humbled at how far I have to go. As a first year professional I think a lot less of myself than when I was a cocky Category-3 who thought I was gods gift to Seattle racing.

    If one has the right mindset, accepting reality will stoke the rage necessary for desired changes to occur. Just because you are where you are does not mean you can’t change. Use it as motivation to improve. Visualize the future by accepting reality. Do not pretend, for this leads to complacency and a faltering ego. You can taste the difference. 

    There is no way in hell I am going to be an Olympian if I pretend that I already am one. The only way I am going to get to the Olympics is by accepting reality: I have a tremendous amount of work before me and I’m just some punk kid who lived in a pick-up truck for a year surviving on a credit card because of this dream I have in my head, an image no one else can see, an image no one else should see. And I must constantly remind myself of this, for pretending is all too easy. 

dan harm